Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
The Goodness of Doubt
Oct 30, 2012
One thing I've learned since I started to do a lot more leisure reading (primarily apologetic texts by C.S. Lewis, Timothy Keller, et. al) has been to never dismiss your own doubts. "Doubt" has such a negative connotation but it can lead to increased wisdom, stronger conviction and renewed faith when addressed carefully.
Listen to your doubts. Question them. Deconstruct them. But only dismiss them once you've spent sufficient time wrestling with them. We've always been taught to disregard our doubts and the doubts of others as a means of maintaining self-esteem and self-efficacy. And I think we sometimes refuse to deal with our doubts because we're afraid of the truth that may or may not lie within them. But, there can come a time when you're forced to confront them and it can shake you to the core if you haven't already spent some time, alone, sifting out the goodness from your doubts.
Fitness. Fun. Philanthropy.
Sep 24, 2012
This Saturday, September 29, I will be running alongside my sister, Tiffany, in the Fitness World 5K to support the Ronald McDonald House of Durham!
Since 1980, the Ronald McDonald House of Durham has allowed families to focus on the health and well-being of their critically ill children by keeping families together who are in need of a community of hope, comfort, and empathy. Learn more about the Ronald McDonald House of Durham by clicking here.
We were able to create a fundraising page, with all proceeds going to the Ronald McDonald House. If you would like to support our team and donate to the cause, please click on the link below; don't forget to maintain your receipt for tax purposes!
My, how time flies, when you're [doing everything except having fun].
Sep 17, 2012
The phrase "there aren't enough hours in the day" never rang more true to me than it did today, g, LAWD!
So I was chillin' in Cubicle Hell daydreaming, when it dawned on me that this isn't the life I signed up fuh. Then (and I would NOT recommend this) I began to break down exactly how I spend my days and here's what I came up with (just skip to the bottom for the overall point of this post):
- I try to go to bed around midnight, so 6 hours are lost to sleep off top and the day ain'eem started good yet. (18 hours left)
- A combined 2 hours; 1 getting ready for work in the morning, another spent in the evening preparing for work the next day (16 hours left)
- 1 hour spent commuting back and forth to work (15 hours left)
- 9 FREAKIN' HOURS hours spent at work (6 hours left)
- 1.5 hours spent exercising -- optional for some, but not for me (4.5 hours left)
- 1 hour spent preparing and/or eating dinner (3.5 hours left)
- Cleaning or straightening the house up, though not every single day, another 1 hour (2.5 hours left)
What I Don't Miss About Twitter, pt. 4
Sep 9, 2012
For some reason unbeknownst to a G, financial independence is often treated as the sole indicator of adulthood.
I mean, you can literally hear the sound of balls dropping in financial aid offices around the country following the disbursement of refund checks, signaling the coming of age for young men. And for those who aren't privy to the coveted refund, that first full-time job after graduation will surely do the trick.
The argument goes like this:
Premise #1 - Most adults (e.g., momma nem, gramma nem, uncle nem) are financially independent. Naturally, most children are not.
Premise #2 - I am financially independent.
Conclusion - Therefore, I am an adult.
This type'a logic results in premature claims to adulthood and all of its virtues, such as wisdom and maturity. So you end up with boys dressed in men's suits assuming men's roles...a perpetual high school where e'rybody is "grown" but no one is forced to mature.
On Twittuh, this yields itself in many different ways, but the most annoying one being:
These financially independent "adults" speak with an heir of arrogance regarding EVERYTHING. They engage in ad hominem attacks against people with fewer assets than them (for example, You live at home with your parents or work at X-job, therefore your opinion on dating/finance/politics is less valid than mine). Because the assumption is that with money, comes an overarching wisdom. I guess? iDunno. But just try telling anyone on #BlackTwitter with a salary that their "adult" perspective on life isn't golden and necessary for all to hear...
Meanwhile, I'll be sleep...doe.
"Talk what you know and not what you think!"
Aug 21, 2012
How much do you infer about other people (places, things)?
A man in a suit. A young woman wearing a hijab. A staunch feminist professor. A history major. A passerby with visible tattoos. Someone who speaks broken English. An African-American Democrat. A member of a greek organization. Someone with a nice car. An older, white Christian. Someone wearing eyeglasses sitting in front of a Macbook. A girl with spiked pink hair. A jock. Really take a second to think about the things you'd instantly infer about these people upon seeing or meeting them...
When we lack knowledge about a particular person (place/thing), our brain quite often fills in the gaps with false information based on previous experiences, media images, things we've been told by parents/friends, etc. This can potentially lead us into giving people things they haven't earned (e.g., assuming a liberal student is an overall compassionate and accepting person) or we may take things away from people unnecessarily (e.g., assuming someone with visible tattoos lacks a career-oriented focus).
How do your inferences impact the way you THINK and, more importantly, how you ACT towards people?
Just some food for thought. Holla back youngin', whoot-whooooooooot. Holla back.
What I Don't Miss About Twitter
Aug 17, 2012
“Our culture makes individual freedom, autonomy, and fulfillment the very highest values, and thoughtful people know deep down that any love relationship at all means the loss of all three...a relationship based not on self-denial but on self-fulfillment will require a low- or no-maintenance partner who meets your needs while making almost no claims on you.” – Timothy Keller
Coming From Where I'm From
Jul 4, 2012
On the heels of the popular musician, Frank Ocean, sharing a letter opening up about his sexuality, the Twittersphere has been poppin' with commentary. Some in support. Some not. And naturally, seeing as though much of the homophobic tension seems to stem from the church, "religion" has been under scrutiny. So, here's my 2 cents on that...not necessarily about Frank's admission in particular...but everything...
Many Black Christians grow up in very Christ-centered, churchgoing families, from the very beginning. Many of you got saved and knew you were going to heaven around 10? 11? That's remarkable. Not to diminish or belittle anyone's conversion experience, but that is the best/easiest/painless way to Christ(ianity) possible. (Granted, assuming that Christianity is true and/or that, once intellectually capable, you examine objections to your faith and discover whether or not what you were taught is True.) Ultimately, the point I'm trying to make is that many (southern, Bible-belt) Black Christians are fortunate enough to never be on the OUTSIDE (of the church an the faith) looking in.
I, on the other hand, did not grow up "in church every Sunday". I've been on the outside looking in with gross skepticism and on the receiving end of alienation. I've heard people make spectacle/fun of those (people like me) who didn't know how to 'act' in church (when to stand, sit, bow head, etc.), people who couldn't quote scripture or sing songs from memory (as if that is a sign of superior spirituality). I've seen Christians call the church "a hospital for sinners" yet judge people (visitors and newcomers) for their attire (as if sinners should appear saved from a earthly, human standard before they even get saved from a Godly, spiritual standard) and I've sat in a pew, as someone who was fresh in my faith, and heard a sermon preached on how "come as you are" is false because "God once damned someone to hell for their appearance". I've visited churches, as someone who believed in "God" but had not yet given my life to Christ, and seen $10, $20, $100 tithing lines where it appeared as though God's love or our salvation could be earned by what we did/gave. I've seen people cry at the pulpit, speak in tongues, and run up and down the aisles, yet regress back to their old ways the minute they exit the church doors, as if everything they'd done prior was for show. Yo, I stood scared and confused at a church-ran basketball tournament and had a woman tell us, a group of ~9-14 year olds that "if you don't give your life to Christ, you're going to Hell" without ANY prior mention of His unmerited, unlimited LOVE, GRACE, and MERCY.
It wasn't until I got into high school that I started to go to church again with my best friend and his family and gave my life to Christ because, despite all the negative images of religion and Christianity I had experienced, I still somehow felt a PERSONAL, UNPRESSURED, spiritual voice in my head asking me to open myself up to something that would change my life. By the grace of God, I submitted to it--NOT my WILL, because I had little to NO reasons to become a Christian after all I had seen from church people (save for the few positive examples of people I was really close to). And, it wasn't until I got to college and went (with my older sister) to a church spilling over with grace, where nothing was added to or taken from the Bible, that I began to really learn about Christ--who He was, what is sin, what merits salvation, what my purpose in life is, etc..
Just from my personal experience, I think it's hard for Christians who NEVER grew up on the outside looking in to understand why people have so many doubts and reservations about religion and spirituality as a whole. Christians don't have to compromise "one jot or one tittle" of the Bible or allow the world system to penetrate and skew the gospel, but y'all, WE, owe it to people to empathize and not act like the church is without flaw and not act like we don't have THE BEST POSSIBLE EXAMPLE of LOVE and sacrifice (Christ dying for us) despite our selfish, blind ways. We ought not act like such a RADICAL thing such as faith, should be easy to submit to and EASY to understand for people who come from many different, some unimaginable backgrounds. And above all, we should not act like whether we've been in church all our lives or never a day in our lives, that we're not ALL, EQUALLY in desperate need of God's grace and mercy. He loves us all the same regardless of where we are in our lives. We owe it to people to SHOW them we love them, first.
Amendment 1 - Gay Marriage, The Family, The Law
May 12, 2012
In summation: Everyone lost.
But, in the slight chance that you are willing to listen (and you enjoy a little satire), here's a great article on the subject with a pretty valid point.
Signature Sin Shawty.
Apr 28, 2012
I read an awesome article recently about "signature sins". The author defines it as "something BIG and bold and neon in your life. The moment you look at it, you know, 'Oh yeah, that thing? That’s a sin.' And so you focus on it. You work on it. You get serious about it."
Overindulgence, unforgiveness, lying, pride -- we all have one, or several, signature sins. On days when we avoid our signature sins, we feel saved. We feel holy(-ier than thou). Problem is, we begin to define righteousness as avoiding the sins we most struggle with. We get into the business of trying to be more righteous through our own works rather than by grace, faith, and repentance.
Man's idea of a "good" and "righteous" person pales in comparison to God's. This is why it is so important to remain humble, and realize that even on our BEST days (when we've avoided all our "signature sins"), we are still "in desperate need of God's grace".
I leave you with this:
"15 In this meaningless life of mine I have seen both of these:Peace!
the righteous perishing in their righteousness,
and the wicked living long in their wickedness.
16 Do not be overrighteous,
neither be overwise—
why destroy yourself?
17 Do not be overwicked,
and do not be a fool—
why die before your time? - Ecclesiastes 7:15-17
The Color Run 5K
Apr 22, 2012
"The Flight From Conversation" by Sherry Turkle
"WE expect more from technology and less from one another and seem increasingly drawn to technologies that provide the illusion of companionship without the demands of relationship. Always-on/always-on-you devices provide three powerful fantasies: that we will always be heard; that we can put our attention wherever we want it to be; and that we never have to be alone. Indeed our new devices have turned being alone into a problem that can be solved."Read the entire article here and then go do something that doesn't involve the internets, b.
#iAmTrayvonMartin Giveaway
Mar 22, 2012
Shouts to my partner in crime, Kelz, for helping me put this shirt together. The text lists the names of the five Black men whose lives were tragically cut short. Their respective stories symbolize how our nation's criminal justice system attempts to control and suppress the Black community rather than protect, with Black males being the primary victims of covert racism and institutionalized discrimination. Get familiar with their stories:
- Emmett Till: Murdered in Mississippi in 1955 at the age of 14 after reportedly flirting with a white woman. After being acquitted of Till's kidnapping and murder, Till's killers, protected by double jeopardy, admitted to killing him in a magazine interview.
- Fred Hampton: Leader of the Illinois Black Panther Party; on December 4, 1969, at the age of 21, he was murdered in sleep as 14 police officers fired over 100 rounds into his Chicago apartment.
- Sean Bell: Killed on November 25, 2006 during an altercation with a team of both plainclothes and undercover NYPD officers the night before his wedding. The officers fired a total of 50 bullets at Sean Bell and 2 of his friends, who were wounded. The detectives were acquitted.
- Troy Davis: Convicted of murdering an off-duty police officer in Savannah, Ga. After remaining on death row for over 20 years, he was executed in September of 2011, despite definitive evidence of guilt.
- Trayvon Martin: Shot and killed in February of 2012 while walking home with a bag of Skittles and some iced tea in his hands. His killer, George Zimmerman (a neighborhood watchman) confessed to killing Trayvon who he thought "looked suspicious". He has not yet been charged with anything.
TO BE CONSIDERED FOR THE FREE T-SHIRT GIVEAWAY:
1) Go to Change.org and sign the petition to get Florida's District State's Attorney to prosecute George Zimmerman.
2) Tweet "Enter to win #iAmTrayvonMartin T-shirt from treyningday.com @Tdouble_u - http://bit.ly/GP8AbK". Your account must be unblocked for me to see it! If you don't have a Twitter, just comment below with "Enter Me" but be sure to include an email address!
The deadline to enter will be on Tuesday March 27th at12pm EST7pm EST and the winner will be announced at 8pm. Disclaimer: I do not intend to make a profit from these shirts. They will NOT go on sale unless there's a way for me to donate the proceeds earned to the Martin family or the One organization.
The Prelude to Valentine's Day
Feb 12, 2012
Well this past Friday, I was in Panera inhaling a Cuban Chicken sammich (which I highly recommend) and I read a quote in Keller's book on the topic of love. I thought it'd be appropriate to share this as Valentine's Day approaches.
"Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation...To love at all is to be vulnerable. We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour." _C.S. LewisSome people are anti-love and anti-Valentine's Day, subsequently. But the fact of the matter is, avoiding love will often times result in a worse emotional state (if you are to be honest with yourself). Love is a risk worth taking! Use Valentine's Day and the days that follow to love without counting the price. Love those who are unlovable. Love under all circumstance. Allow yourself to BE loved. And never settle for any lesser way of love from yourself.
Grace + Nothing
Jan 6, 2012
I'm amazed/worried about the sheer number of folk who attend church faithfully but aren't taught/know little of God's grace and what actually merits salvation.
We give our lives to Christ and begin to have our hearts and minds renewed but somewhere along the line we decide to continue, in the flesh, what was started in the spirit. Meaning, we take on the burden of trying to be "good enough" for salvation by adhering to man-made benchmarks for what a Christian is SUPPOSED to be like. We try to reach heaven by looking the part on Sundays in our Steve Harvey Collection suits, praying verbosely in King James English, giving x-dollars in tithes, quoting scripture on impulse, trying to appear sinlessly perfect, etc. We allow these worldly standards to overshadow the importance of being humble, having empathy for the poor, shouldering the concerns of he oppressed, loving our neighbors as ourselves, giving cheerfully, forgiving freely, etc.
But most importantly, we lose sight of the fact that salvation is a GIFT. We are saved by Grace through faith and nothing more. We don't have to be perfect, we don't have to earn it through good deeds, and we can never be "good enough" for salvation. Thankfully! I know that I fail too often to leave it up to myself.
*Update
Someone tweeted a very well-written article on the topic of Grace and I thought it'd be good to share. My post, written hastily on a cell phone, doesn't cover the topic as extensively as it could. Peep the article here. Peace!
Happy New Year!
Dec 31, 2011
Goodbye to 2011! It surely will not be missed! Nevertheless, I hope that you all had a wonderful year and that 2012 treats you just as well. I appreciate all the blog support and I hope that you all continue to rock with me in the coming year.
Be safe in your celebrations tonight.
Love, peace and chicken grease!
-Dub
My Conversation With Probe Ministries About Homosexuality and Christianity
Nov 26, 2011
There has been an alarming number of LGBT teen suicides in the news lately. What's equally unsettling is the subsequent anti-gay funeral pickets by churches such as the Westboro Baptist. It takes a real special kind of evil/ignorance/absurdity/sacrilege to protest at a funeral in the name of Christianity, with signs reading "God hates f*gs". And because people carelessly define religious belief systems by a single person (or small subset of people) who commit evil acts, it creates a huge hurdle for those who are actually trying to spread the real truth of God's love.
It really got me thinking about the role that religion plays in the persecution of LGBT persons and the responsibility that the church has in rectifying or alleviating the problem. In an effort to seek some clarity, I submitted some pressing questions to Probe Ministries, a Christian Apologetic resource that makes a case for faith through logic and factual evidence. Hit the "read more" link to see my conversation with them regarding homosexuality and Christianity. (Keep in mind, my questions are posed from a biblical worldview perspective. However, their responses may provide some insight for you even if you don't subscribe to the same beliefs as me.)
Dear Trey,
Thank you for writing. I think you're asking some very important questions.
"Why is homosexuality singled out as the lone, cardinal sin in many instances?"
Good question. And yes, this is a serious problem that we Christians need to work to correct and I see you are trying to do. But I also see you are trying not to overcorrect. That's good too. I'll tell you why I think homosexuality is singled out. I think people are afraid. What people do not make any effort to understand, they fear, and what they fear, they demonize. People are also afraid that the gay agenda to normalize homosexuality is a threat to marriage and the worldview of our children. But what if we spent time actually engaging the nuances of the issue, equipping our people, including our kids, to engage lovingly too? I also think the gay community is an easy target. Frankly, Christians have no business pointing the finger at homosexuality and rolling over on divorce. But it's just easier to point at "them" than to deal with the messes in our own house.
"So, is it biblically justifiable for me to NOT make issue of someone's sexual preference in hopes that the Holy Spirit will convict them if they experience the same Grace the I, a heterosexual male, experience?"
Tricky. I definitely think it's important not make an issue right of the bat----"Hello. I'm Trey. You're gay, right? Did you know that's a sin?" Probably a bad strategy. But I think when you're friends with someone, it'll come up naturally, so you definitely want to be prepared to speak the truth in love to your friend.
Think about how the Holy Spirit convicts you. Sometimes he'll do it through the Bible and sometimes, probably most of the time, he'll offer loving conviction through other people. Right? God uses people to spread his message of Grace-Truth. It's messy and imperfect because people are imperfect messes, but that's how God has always chosen to work. And when I think about how God accomplishes his work through us! I'm amazed at his power.
"Is it OK not to support laws prohibiting gay marriage, as I feel it is not my responsibility to prohibit choice--because love of God without choice isn't really love at all?"
Yes. It's okay not to support laws against gay marriage. But the reasoning you give is a bit shaky. After all, it is illegal to do lots of things that people technically have the choice to do... murder and speeding, for (extreme) example. Personally, I think we do more damage than good in trying to legislate gay marriage. Even when we win the battles, I think we're losing the war. But most Christians, especially in the South, won't agree with me. The Culture War seems to focus on fighting certain types of people; where I come from: democrats, abortionists, gay activists… Ephesians 6 instructs us that our fight isn't with people, even when they are attacking us---and they are. We're not to play by their rules. We have another King.
"If I speak out against oppression of the LGBT community, am I in essence, endorsing sin?"
Certainly not! Look to Christ who spoke out (remarkably calmly and remarkably little in this instance) against the oppression of the woman used by the Religious Leaders as a trap for Jesus in John, chapter 8. "Let he who has not sinned throw the first stone," Jesus says to the Religious. And to the woman he says, "I do not condemn you. [In order that you may be able to] leave your life of sin." Christ neither compromised grace nor truth; and of course, neither exists apart from the other: truth without love is not an extension of Christ, the Word, but merely a clanging noise, an irritation; and grace without truth is not at all a kindness.
I hope that's helpful, Trey. Please write again if I can ever be of service, and may the Lord bless you as you continue to think through your Christianity.
Renea McKenzie
www.reneamac.com
www.ThinkingThroughChristianity.com
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Oct 19, 2011
"Let the way that you live ('light of the world' - Matt. 5:14) make people want to believe your message before you try to persuade them that it is true."I came across this quote in one of the Apologetic texts that I've been reading. It's something that I'm sure we've all heard before in some form or fashion. And although it was in reference to Christian living, it can be applied to many different people with many different messages.
Politicians give rhetoric-filled speeches which give off the impression that they have the public's best interest at heart. Then they push and vote in favor of policies that in no way reflect our values.
School district leaders say they want to provide the best education for our students. Then they take shameless pay raises while teachers are forced to come out of pocket for basic teaching supplies.
In the same token, if the life of a Christian doesn't match the Good News [of mercy, favor, freedom, hope, victory, redemption, forgiveness, equality, GRACE and LOVE] that's being preached, then people won't even hesitate to dismiss it, no matter what's being presented. And do you blame them? I certainly don't.
In just a minute's time you can lose your witness, but it can take forever to get it back. May your actions entice the people around you to wanna hear what it is that you have to say, whatever that may be. Peace!
Re: @abelleinbk "Where's the Love"
Aug 23, 2011
There are few things in life that annoy me more than the comments under Youtube videos (i.e., "the 15 people who disliked this must be deaf"). One of those things is certainly indifference, or in Demetria "Belle" Lucas' words - “active indifference”.
Belle recently wrote an article entitled “Where’s the Love” basically
saying that black women often defend black men in their struggles but rarely receive
reciprocity. As a result, black women should essentially dial back their
support and focus on the issues that primarily affect women.
After reading her post, I quickly realized that this apathy movement
is spiraling out of control and everyone is in a race to see who can give the
least amount of f*cks about everything! I began to consider a few things...
- What if Branch Rickey chose to practice “active indifference” instead of agreeing to a contract that would allow Jackie Robinson to break the color lines and play in the major leagues, thus changing the Jim Crow policies of baseball?
- ...or James Peck who practiced nonviolent resistance alongside the Freedom Riders, suffering a brutal beating at the hands of Klansmen?
- ...or James Chaney, Michael Schwerner and Andrew Goodman, all murdered by other white men after trying to register black voters?
- ...or the thousands of other white civil rights activists who took a stand against injustice, not because they stood to gain something in return, or because they were personally guilty of perpetuating inequalities, but because it was the right thing to do.
The idea that you should only care about the issues that directly affect
you is flawed. The idea that you should only take a stand for injustice when
the people affected have the wherewithal to return the favor is flawed. The
idea that in order to raise awareness about an issue (which in this instance,
is men’s lack of support for black women) one should practice the “eye for an
eye, tooth for a tooth” (women should stop supporting black men) is FLAWED. FLAWED.
FLAWED. FLAWED!
Besides “active indifference” is an oxymoron. How does one
ACTIVELY lack feelings about something so pervasive? If you make a conscious decision to overlook an issue that you VERY WELL know is wrong, you ain't ish I truly wish you well in life. I really do.....
“This is for them Twentysomethings, time really moved fast, you were just sixteen.” – Beyonce
Aug 4, 2011
back when I was 16
"I think the reason why twentysomethings are so fixated on age is because we feel a pressure to be a certain way at 23, at 25, at 29. There are all of these invisible deadlines with our careers and with love..."Whether consciously or unconsciously, we’ve all fallen victim to the “invisible deadline” strong-arm at one point or another. It’s good to have plans but it can actually cause a lot of undue stress when we try to follow those plans down to the very last detail.
For instance, I made it a personal goal of mine to graduate from undergrad on time, overlooking the fact that “on time” for the average college student is much greater than the expected four years. Nevertheless, I created this 4-year-or-else deadline primarily because of the stigma associated with taking extra time. But now that I’ve graduated, I’m finding it extremely difficult to register and pay for the prerequisite classes that I need for grad school…classes that would have been free.99 if I had just taken an extra semester of full time classes. And as a result of having lingering classes to take, I got placed on the first tier waiting list for my top grad school choice and the seats were filled before I was offered admission. It's like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and having it suddenly vanish, b.
I’ve learned the hard way that you should never box yourself in with plans that are absolute. And above all else, never allow what everyone else is doing put unnecessary pressure on you and interfere with the goals that you have set for yourself.
Make plans. Revise your plans, and then revise them again. Graduate a semester “later” than expected if need be. Take a semester to go abroad. Date freely without feeling the need to settle down at first sign of promise. Talk to people who are in the place you want to be in, and you'll often find that their path wasn't perfect either. WHATEVER you do, do it unhurriedly. If things don't work out just like you planned, it is OK. After all, I once heard someone say, “What need is there to worry yourself with arbitrary deadlines if you serve the Author of Time”. (Sidenote: See Jeremih 29:11-13)
Peace!
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Trey "Dub". 23.
Small-town gent'. UNC alum.
