What I Don't Miss About Twitter

A couple of weeks ago I decided to stop tweeting cold turkey.

I can’t quite put my finger on it but Twittuh just isn’t the same anymore. Yes, it is still enjoyable but in the words of Jay-Z, “It’s just different,” (á la the light-skinned surrogate Aunt Viv tomfoolery they tried to pull on The Fresh Prince—a quintessential example of enjoyably different).


And as different (read: stressfuuuuuuh) as Twittuh has become, I was oddly, ironically, doubly stressed about life without it. Masochism at its best, lemme tell you. Anywho, once I conquered the bouts of “omg-I’m-so-out-of-the-loop-and-missing-everything," life without Twitter became better bearable.

There are quite a few things that I do not miss about Twittuh, and I will cover them in a series of (much shorter) posts over the coming days. Atop the list of things I can live without, doe? RELATIONSHIP DISCUSSIONS.

I do not miss reading tons of idealistic, overly romanticized thoughts on dating and relationships. It’s quite obvious that, embedded in all of the seemingly useful opinions and unsolicited advice, many folk on Twitter just wanna gaze into the eyes of that someone special…and bust a nut from their own reflection, g. Relationships are clearly viewed as a vehicle for personal and professional fulfillment and self-actualization. Look at how good s/he makes me look. Look at how s/he enables me to maximize my full potential without having to make sacrifices or change anything about myself. My needs. My standards. My goals. My desires.

I used to think people were joking but even running jokes eventually subside (See: “git ‘er done,” “scrape your neck”) and yet everyday a new relationship debate is bound to happen on Twitter so…

Nah.

I don’t want it to seem like I’m assuming the position of relationship “expert” myself by writing this post. I ain’t nobody’s expert. I have, however, been around the block a few times and I know enough to be able to discern reality from…whatever it is folk be talmbout on Twitter.

I also know that, as long as I’m not logged on, there is a super slim chance that I’ll be subjected to debates over $200 dates, accusations of golddigging from niggas without any assets, cries of anti-settling from women who have confused this with having realistic expectations, the approval and disapproval of eating butt, skin tone preferences, etc. And for that reason alone, I'm OK without Twitter. For now. Before I go, doe, I leave you with this...

“Our culture makes individual freedom, autonomy, and fulfillment the very highest values, and thoughtful people know deep down that any love relationship at all means the loss of all three...a relationship based not on self-denial but on self-fulfillment will require a low- or no-maintenance partner who meets your needs while making almost no claims on you.” – Timothy Keller