Pictures are worth 1000 words

I honestly can't be the only one confused by the situation between Tiger woods and his crazy Ex wife to be wife. I've googled this story a hundred times over and som'n just ain't addin' up. So, I decided to look at pictures of the two, as a way to form my own conspiracy theory about what happened that night. Lo and behold, these pictures tell me everything I need to know about their relationship.

He's thinking: I'm a billionaire and I had to settle for this.
She's thinking: Ughhhhh...kettlecorn??


He's thinking: [fake smile] OMG, I'm a billionaire and I had to settle for this.
She's thinking: Ughhhhhh.....kettlecorn?


He's thinking: SHE TOLD ME IT WAS HERBAL ESSENCE SHAMPOO!!! OK, I've had enough!


Oop! Sorry, wrong story.


He's thinking: Ok, not only am I a billionaire, but I'm blackanese--women love that! Chāng Mǎ Woods, if it weren't for you, I would have divorced your mother years ago.
She's thinking: Ughhhhhh.....kettlecorn?


[Que Rihanna, "G4L"]
She's thinking: Okay, enough with the dumb blond bit. Not only did I beat this nigga (yes, NIgga, black people don't be so naive) up, but I'm going to get half AND I'm going to get full custody of the children. That'll teach him not to cheat on me.