NO SUCH THING AS A STUPID QUESTION

Nov 30, 2009

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WRONG!!! The question, "Why are you single" has been getting men cussed out and side-eyed upon for centuries. And I just want to know, why is this question so off setting to women? I've seen several tweets about this issue recently. One girl in particular, tweeted about it under the hash tag #stupidquestions.

Asking a man why he is single is no different than asking him what his favorite color is, but to ask a woman about her relationship status automatically puts her on the defensive. The question goes into a woman’s ear as “why are you single” but it must be processed in the brain as “you just can’t keep no man can you?” or some variation of sorts.

And yeeah, it has been established that women are from Venus and men are from Mars but effin' spare me already. The question seems pretty harmless to me "but that's because I'm a guy", right? Oh, ok. Well, I do know this. Men are simple (often times confused with unintelligent because our thought processes don't automatically coincide with that of the female) so we typically see things pretty black & white. And i
n my opinion (DISCLAIMER, DISCLAIMER, I could be wrong, DISCLAIMER, don't get salty, DISCLAIMER) this whole ordeal is just an instance in which women are complicating something that just isn’t that serious. You ask guy why he is single, and he’ll tell you something pretty straightforward, along the lines of:
  • relationships aren’t for me

  • I ain’t trying to be tied down, cause im tryin to cut som’n

  • relationships are too expensive
But never will you hear “Who are you to ask me that?! I’m strong, independent, 5-star chick, and I don’t need a man to justify…blah blah blah.” Beyonce dun brainwashed people into thinking that being single is synonymous with being strong but being single just makes you single. End of story. So why take offense? It's a simple question to me with no negative innuendos. But what can I say? I'm just a guy. A curious guy, with a lot on his mind. Je suis tres curieux for my French speaking amies.

Does the question "why are you single" offend you? If so, why?

10 comments:

Dimplez said...

Je ne sais pas, it doesn't bother me, my answer's always the hell if I know lol, guess I'm not a normal female :-\

birdie said...

It doesn’t offend me, I just say ‘too many differences’ and keep it moving. I don’t understand why men always ask it though. I’ll ask why did your last couple of relationships end, but I don’t ask that question. Sometimes I like to give silly answers like ‘restraining orders usually end relationships’ or ‘I like to beat my boyfriends’.

"Dub" said...

So am I just overgeneralizing??

Eury said...

Well that question doesn't offend me. But the chances are if a women is insecure about her love life/ that question then that's not the only thing she's insecure about... And she's needs to work on her self before even moving into a relationship...

Oh yea, I agree with the whole "single=strong" idea... A lot of people think this is true, what they don't know is,it takes a lot of strength to love someone else n to be comitted to that person....

just sayin

Mercedez said...

i think you are overgeneralizing. it's a very praticaly question, especially if you are seriously trying to get to know a person.
and single=strong, don't blame that on Beyonce, girls are always trying to find impowerment in themselves, look at the feminist movement, bra burning all that ish.

deanna.janay said...

very interesting blog... for some girls the question "why are you single?" really is asking "whats wrong with you that you can't keep a man? are you crazy? what do I need to know before I invest any amount of time into making this w/e it's going to be?" and that's why women get offended. That question can be asked differently, in a way that creates a safe environment where the female does not feel like her character is being called into question or that her faults (regardless if she's insecure or not) are being brought to the light: "what do you think about relationships?" People freak out at the word "relationship" because somewhere between all those letters are the words "serious and commitment" when it is actually used to define the way a person relates to another person. nothing more, nothing less. you just kind of have to be careful no matter how it is asked.

also... single does not equal strong. we are social beings with the drive to be accepted, loved, or sometimes even loathed by others. regardless of it all, we thrive off of interaction with other human beings. so yes its all well and good that females can sustain themselves on their own, but I have met a lot of women who are weak, and thats mostly why they are single. that's not to say a man should define you either... but on its own, single is not synonymous with strong. I'm sorry ladies, but I'm keepin it real.

http://itsbeenrealdotcom.blogspot.com

"Dub" said...

y'all insight is on point! thanks

Josie Renee said...

Yea.... I def. don't get offended neither & thats probably because I'm single by choice. The females who get upset are probably the ones who are scorned, fresh out of a relationship, or are battling a low self esteem. But either way... I guess for the sake of emotional world.. perhaps we can stick to more "neutral" questions.

"Dub" said...

understood

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