Research (Or Whatever) Shows "Only 3 'Good' Black Men for Every 100 Black Women"

Sep 22, 2011

Recently, a new "study" surfaced on the Interwebs called Only 3 “Good” Black Men For Every 100 Black Women. Praises be to God, I don't know what I would have done if one more day had passed without a reminder of my stance in society, b...

The study found that, based on an arbitrary set of criteria ranging from salary to good looks, only 3% of black men prove to be viable options for black women. Awesome! I'm certain that, although eerily similar to those written before it (See: 8 Reasons to Date White Men; Is Marriage for White People), this will be the article that will make niggas continue to exclusively date white women that are 6's at best but cook, clean, buy them gifts, and roll their weed up with a smile incite a movement among black men to stand up, turn from their wayward ways and raise their sons to be the future leaders of tomorrow. I mean, that's the point of these things, right? To inspire us to do better?

Anwho, the "common criteria that single black women are looking for in a black man" were as follows:
1. I want a black man.
2. I want a man who doesn't like other men.
3. I want a man who is interested in me, a black woman.
4. I want a man who has not been to jail.
5. I want a man who has a high school diploma.
6. I want a man who has a job.
7. I want a man who makes at least $30,000 a year
8. I want a man who looks good and is in shape.
9. I want a man who doesn't already have kids with another woman.
    So based on this list, they came to the conclusion that there are only 3 good, black men for every 100 black women. Now it wasn't explicitly stated in the article but I'm assuming that, by default, every black woman deserves access to the private stock...that good stuff kept in the back room. This is news to me, as I was unaware of the fact that your sex and race alone entitles you to so much.

    But let's imagine, for the sake of argument, that we lived in a world where....for some CRAZY reason...what you deserved in a significant other was based on what you brought to the table. What exactly qualifies you as being a compatible match with a good black man? Just take a look at some of the things men value in a significant other (in no particular order):
    1. How well do you cook?*
    2. How knowledgeable are you about sports/music? 
    3. Do you have heavy baggage that will undoubtedly spill over into your next relationship?**
    4. Do you understand the importance of occasional silence and space? 
    5. Do you gossip with your friends about the ins and outs of your relationship? 
    6. Do you value your health/appearance?
    7. What dat mouf do? *
    8. Did you have a good relationship with your father growing up?
    9. If them boys in blue brought down the hammer, will you take the charge for a nigga?
    *Includes willingness as well as skill
    **Trust issues (snooping/clinginess), bitterness

    This seems kinda silly when the tables are turned, right? People need to chill with these Build-a-Bear dreams, out here with a laundry list of romantic essentials that include, of all things, RACE and SALARY?! My advice? Look for someone who “will love you for the person you are, flaws and neuroses included, rather than for some bullshit good-on-paper reason like looks or credentials” (source). Explore your options with other races instead of waiting for your Black King even though the divorce rate is high across ALL races, so clearly it isn’t just us. Do WHATEVER has to be done to prevent the constant finger-pointing at black men for the lack of love in your life.

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