ReBlogged: How to Make a real G!

Aug 14, 2011

One of my Twitter followers tweeted about a failed attempt at making Kool-Aid the other day, so I dug into the archives and pulled out this little gem! Disclaimer: I am not responsible for spikes in blood pressure, elevated glucose levels, increased anxiety, or temporary loss of vision. Bottoms up, my g's!

I felt as though this post was imperative because as the weather starts to warm up and cookouts are being held....somebody, somewhere, is going to be drinking Kool-Aid when they aren't taking Corona's to the brain, of course. So, I'll spare you the small talk and get ride down to the nitty-gritty....

Step 1:
Purchase the Kool-aid from your local Wal-Mart, Piggly Wiggly or corner store. Now, buying Kool-Aid is not like buying paper towels. You can't just pick up an off brand and expect to get the job done because your Kool-Aid will taste more like sugar water as opposed to Grape Drank. Go ahead and buy the official "Kool-Aid" brand packs that run 3 for $1 or just pay 5 bones and get a 20-ounce drink mix.
(I prefer the little packets myself.)

Step 2:
Get you a pitcher big enough to feed a family of 5. A lot of people cannot cook in bulk, but the last thing you want to do is whip up a personalized helping of Kool-Aid, and then come to the 'fridge a day later and find out that Uncle June Bug drank it all. On a more serious note, if you can find a glass pitcher...use that! Have you ever wondered why people do wine-tasting in glasses? Well, it's not because they are trying to be bourgeois, but other materials such as Styrofoam and plastic can alter the chemical composition of a drink and make it taste differently.

Step 3:
Take two Kool-aid packets and pour them into your container. A lot of people use the same flavored packs, but I typically like to mix two different flavors and create my own little masterpiece. Again, whatever floats your boat.

Step 4:
Pour HOT water into the container with the Kool-Aid packs. I know that you are going to want to taste the Kool-Aid after you make it....but, just put some ice in a cup and sit it to the side for when you are finished. Warm water makes the crystals dissolve better and the taste of your drink will be noticeably different.

Step 5:
Pour sugar into the container with the water and Kool-Aid mix. The right amount of sugar is critical! Add too little sugar, and you might as well be drinking Gatorade. Add too much sugar, and your drink will taste like cough syrup. For those of you who cannot eye-ball it and pour the sugar into the container right out of the bag....start with 3 cup fulls of sugar, stirring while you add the sugar and taste it to see if its right. If not, add a little more sugar to it. Typically, you know you have enough sugar when the shade of your drink has gotten 3 or 4 shades darker.

Voila! Now you ready to sit back, relax, and consume so much Kool-Aid that you get sugar diabetes!!! Mind you, there is nothing ghetto, hood, or demeaning about drinking Kool-Aid. I'm pretty sure John McCain drinks it. This is has been a public service announcement from your friendly, neighborhood pusher-man. Signing off....

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