Beware of Marvin's Room

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WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHO MARVIN IS AND WHAT'S SO SIGNIFICANT ABOUT THIS NIGGA'S ROOM?! I'm befuddled! 

Marvin has Drake calling up his ex-girlfriend and telling her to dead her current relationship because he wants her back.

Marvin has JoJo calling HER ex, too. Not only that, she's also "going to send a sexy picture to remind [him] what [he's] giving up".

I can'eem count how many times I've seen someone tweet "I'm on my Marvin's Room flow tonight about to do something I'll probably regret" or something along those lines. Clearly "Marvin's Room" has become a euphemism for Lonely Denamug. TLC's Chili probably spends a lot of time in Marvin's Room. Jazmine Sullivan is very familiar with his room, I'm sure. Adele, also a frequenter of Marvin's Room. And worst of all, many of you are one drunk night away from visiting Marvin yo'self cause Drake has made it cool to be lonely.

I don't quite know what you had envisioned when you were listening to these songs, but I'm here to warn you, doe. This is what Marvin's Room looks like:

It's a lonely, THIRSTY, desperate place, g. 

I used to think music was just poetry over a nice melody, something that you could vibe to, but NAWL. Kanye got broke, college-aged dudes trying to be pompous A-holes, in the club spending work study money on bottles of Crown. Beyonce has girls calling up old flings talmbout "I used to want you so bad/ I'm so through with that/ Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had/" and then hanging up the phone immediately afterwards. And now Dr. Drizzy is pumping everyone full of despair.

Skraight up, if this song makes any of you call up your ex, I wish you niggas the best of luck and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.......... ....... ....... ...

And on the contrary, if your ex calls you singing "F-ck that nigga that you love so bad/ I know you still think about the times we had" and you actually consider leaving the person that you're with, I hope y'all accidentally have baby girls that look just like Drake.

Music is good. Music is necessary. Music is cathartic even. But when it starts having an effect on your REAL LIFE decision making skills, it becomes a problem!!!