What is Love? A Man's Perspective.

Apr 14, 2011

 Finn, 7
“Marry someone who is nice. 
It doesn’t matter if she’s pretty.”

For a few days now, I have been working on a post entitled "What is Love?" But I've been having such a difficult time trying to articulate how I feel that I almost wanted to throw my hands up and say, "Love is indescribable". That was until my role model, Naite, posted this website called The Man's Guide to Love: Real Advice. Man to Man. 7 Days a Week. It's a collection of videos from men all over the country who have given little tidbits of advice pertaining to love. It gave me just the inspiration I needed to finish this post.

After watching a bagillion of their responses (no exaggeration), I took my favorite ones and put them together in an effort to capture the main aspects of what love is to me. Hit the "read more" link below for the scoop!

Love is being yourself! It's letting your guard down and allowing someone to see who you really are, no damage control, "flaws and all" like Beyonce said. It's being completely honest and truthful and living with the consequences of that, rather than putting up a front to satisfy someone. This way you know that someone loves you for YOU.

Love is an action, not just a feeling! It's a conscious decision that you make. The Greek language has four words for love, the most powerful being "Agape" or "God love" which means "sacrificial love, not based on whether someone deserves it".  It's a decision to love someone as you love yourself, and placing their needs and concerns above your own. It's willfully "forgiving and forgetting", despite the world saying "forgive but don't forget", because although you can't physically erase things from your memory, you can reach a point where you choose not to hold one's mistakes against them. As the man in the video puts it, it's deciding to "stay the course".

Love is hard! It's never taking a good thing for granted.  The man in this video says it best, "if it's easy, it is not love...ultimately when you have a relationship that you have fought for, it is worth more than any fling". I can vouch for that. Having been in a relationship for 4 1/2 years, my girlfriend and I hit a patch where the bottom completely fell out. Now when I look back, I'm completely embarrassed that I allowed things to get that bad. But I'm also appreciative, because I grew and learned a lot from it. Also, make sure you're honest with yourself. Don't fool yourself into believing in something that brings more strife than happiness. The good times should far outweigh the bad.

Love is fun! It's letting loose and just enjoying someone's company regardless of what anyone else thinks or how corny it may seem.  For example, I don't particularly think the guy in the video can sing, and I prefer never to hear it again, but that girl is smitten and they clearly have a connection. It's reaching that point where you can literally do NOTHING all day and still have the best time in the world with someone.

Love is natural! My girlfriend says, "you know you love someone when you don't have to ask yourself anymore". I think that's what this video captures. It should feel effortless and genuine. You won't have to convince yourself of anything. You'll just know.

It doesn't matter who you are, where you are from, what your background is, I think that everyone wants to be loved. Our definitions of love may differ, as indicated by these various responses, but that basic desire is something that we all have in common! Love gets a bad rap, but it can add a lot to your life, instead of bind you and limit you from doing this and doing that. Love is fulfilling....


...so like Dom Kennedy says, "when you see love, just go get it fam!"


Adina Renée. said...

How sweet.

josie renee said...

This is cute. And yes, all these things are love.

I noticed in my bloglist that you kept editing a blog post but I couldnt see it. Turns out it was this one. The fact that you put so much thought into it makes it all the more precious.

You and Kelli look great! Congrats on YOUR love.


ABIGAIL NY said...

Finn's definition was the sweetest!


Don't watch me, w-w-watch my feet....