Open Letter To Tony Parker

Nov 17, 2010

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Dear Tony Parker,
I think I speak for all the Black Men in America when I say, we are sorry to inform you, dumb nigga, that as a result of your recent indiscretions, you have been excommunicated. Please do not seek any compensation henceforth. Do not pass go and do not collect $200. May the ensuing ridicule by sports columnist, women, and sponsors weigh on your back and haunt you in your dreams like recurring images of Drake's Sprite commercial.

We stood behind Michael Vick during his most recent downfalls. We stood behind Weezy and his styrofoam cup. We even separated Tiger Woods the husband from Tiger Woods the golfer and accepted him for who he was. But for you to step out on Eva Longoria when there are thousands of Black Men out here spending our hard earned rent money in the club to get a woman half as good (edit: good-looking) as her, you exhibited tactless, poor decision making in it's rarest form. From the bottom of our hearts, we hope that you fail in all of your future endeavors and may your next wife be stricken with a permanent condition that requires her to whip her hair back and forth at random times like Turrets Syndrome.

In closing, there is only an ounce of humility that you still contain and it lies in the fact that...to much of our surprises...you were cheating with a woman instead of a man because several of us were certain that you were on the downlow.

Deuces,
Black Men of America

4 comments:

S.Crockett said...

Lmfao!!! Tips at hat at how articulate and well put this post is while remaining HILARIOUS from beginning to end. *salute* I will be tuning in for more.

Dub said...

thanks!

Cindia said...

To Tony...Smh. That is all.

Unknown said...

LMFAO funny shit
xoxo Genevieve&Lola.com

 
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