THE STICKY-NOTE CHRONICLES: LOVE

Oct 21, 2009

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The question that I currently have about life:
What is love? Because I thought I was in it, but I'm not sure. Love is
n't easy. We all are aware of this. But must it be so difficult? Why do we allow things such as pride, lust, jealousy, reputation, and vengeance get in the way of joy?

The answer that I got from the Bible:
The Bible tells us that:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
__1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I've seen this scripture a million-and-one times, and while it seems like common sense...it's not that easy to fulfill the criteria of love as described in the Bible. If that were true, divorces would never occur and we'd all live happily ever after.

After ending a 3-year relationship recently and trying to find answers to the hundreds of questions that are on my mind...it struck me tonight that the love I thought I had, had been completely absent from my relationship for some time. I mean, we toss this word around so much nowadays that it's all but lost it's meaning. To actually be in love is a powerful feeling and is one of the most important aspects of Christianity; therefore, we should strive to practice it in all of our relationships.

So, I've been racking my brain trying to figure out how to move on with life after love. But after spending some time reading the Word, I've realized that there is no such thing as life after love, because the Bible tells us to go after a life of love as if our life depends on it--because it does. So, even though I'm not in a relationship with X-person anymore, I should refrain from slandering her name in public or private. I should refrain from holding grudges. I should refrain from all things negative that typically come with break-ups. I should attempt to love and respect her to the best of my ability. Easier said than done, trust me, but at least I know what I should be doing now and why.
-----------------------------------UPDATE-----------------------------------
Allow me to further explain my intentions behind this post, for those of you got the meaning misconstrued.

We all have our own interpretations of what love is. However, I thought it would be beneficial to make sure MY interpretation coincided with the definition of love described in the Bible ("love is kind...does not boast...is not proud...")

After reading that scripture, I realized that my ex-girlfriend and I had not fulfilled many of those requirements during the last month of our relationship; therefore, I stated that love "
had been completely absent from my relationship for some time". (So regardless of the whether or not we thought we were in love, the Bible says otherwise.)

Then I proceeded to explain how I came to the realization that I should strive to exemplify the BIBLE's definition of love, instead of my own, by refraining from "
slandering her name in public or private. I should refrain from holding grudges. I should refrain from all things negative that typically come with break-ups. I should attempt to love and respect her to the best of my ability". While some of you got my intentions...others of you thought that I was trying to use the Bible for calumny, which makes no sense to me. Please hit the red [X] at the top right of the page and carry on...

9 comments:

beingbreezyisnteasy said...

true shh man .
this is actually quite inspirational .

Eury said...

Yea I do the same thing. I reflect on my past relationships only to discover that they weren't what I expected them to be because I didn't know anything else.

I think people have really lost sight of the meaning of "love" && have adapted some watered down version of it...

But this time around I'm trying really hard to see my relationship for what it really is. Not rush into things, ya kno?

Anonymous said...

glad to see you incorporated the word into this matter because the answer to EVERYTHING lies within it. though ya may be a little lost on your issues wit love, keep ya head up bruh, cuz its a FINE one *winks* and you will find "real love" quicker than someone can spit the lyrics to that song lol *clicks the like button* :)

Tina said...

So Im gonna give ur kudos for the scripture and ur personal thoughts. But wouldn't this be considered messy if u never told the girl ure reffencing these things n she finds out reading this?? Love is complicated and all is fair in love and war homeboy(not using it as endearment). U see if u wanna go bible with it u need to find out the needs of a man & his place and the needs of a woman and her place.A lot of guys do not have a male figure who represents what a man should be in their lives bc they were raised by women but although mamas do a great job pent of bitterness n frustration from a lack of relationship with a man to show how can n will affect intimate relationships with women bc women have been taking care n raising young boys. Dating is no easy feat but u learn n grow with experience and every heartbreak. U don't know a real man baSher. U kno girls who have daddys, standards, and will move on withlife.I've never really formed a solid opinion about u...never cared to take Sides but what I do know from watching ur blogs mature( or digress?) is u make assumptions about things u kno little about. GrAnted it's ur opioniom which is always valued. Let life happen and don't make it messy bc ure headed that direction.

"Dub" said...

Excuse me, but can you tell me what sense would it have made for me to use the Bible for defamation? You should have taken the time to read the post for clarity, instead of blindly jumping to Kellie's defense. In all actuality, it is you who is making assumptions about things you know nothing about. You don't know anything about me because you read a few blog posts or because you let her vent to you when things were rocky between us.

And of the VERY FEW posts I've made in reference to our relationship, I'm at a total loss as to why this is the one that pushed you over the top and caused you to bring my character into question??? Trying to emasculate me because of the way I handled things, or because I wasn't "raised by my father".....you could have missed me with THAT "homegirl" and did what I've been asking from jump street, which is let Kellie handle her problems herself.

Tina said...

Dealing w/ girls that have both parents causes girls to have diff expectations and diff outlook on things was what my point.Think about it... If u have the best mom in the world would u downgrade n marry/date a woman who treats u like crap?! Heck no u will not! If that makes sense... My issues with this I'll address directly to u later. For the record I haven't spoken to Kaylah bout nething n just really had a convo bout it here n there. And to think I was being neutral n u over there assuming I'm hating!!! Boy bye lol I was being nice trying to help u out n now IM
ticked off bc of assumptions not about the break which I don't kno specifics. Reading ur blog made me realize it was forreal...then found out I was defriended too?!? * gasps* oh no! I kno there are three sides to every story but my thing is....I don't think this was the way to go about it since it's a sensitive situation on both peoples parts. So now... Other rest I'll discuss later. N hype down. Outsiders are not on the everybody hates Trey train.... The break upee I'd the concern. K?

Tina said...

Oh n the whole guys n dads thing was general point. It does play an intergral role in a guys life. That was not to make u feel less but something I've personally experienced n made it very difficult to navigate the relationship bc if our differences. Plus I meant for u to read the bible for understanding more about women n mens needs... Not to blog about it ad a tool for vengence or something. I was tryin to keep it brief hoping ud get my point.

lovelylavendar said...

i just wanna thank you for posting this on your blog. i have been thinking for a while now what love is and of all its value and even re-examing the love i had for my ex. it takes courage to do what your doing and i find it inspirational, God Bless!

Mizlittlej said...

Great food for though lil brother. This road is even tricky for those of us well beyond our undergrad years. Continue being the awesome young man you were called to be and with time, all things will work together for your good!

Love ya!

MizLittlej

 
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