Arguing Effectively

Feb 22, 2009

So, I'm pretty much over the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation; nevertheless, I thought it'd be the perfect time to hit y'all with some tips on how to carry on a confrontation "like you got some sense". So, without further ado (I've always wanted to say that) here you go:

  • Give yourself some time to cool off. It is hard to think rationally when your judgment is clouded by anger. You tend to say things that you regret, things that do not accurately describe how you feel, or things that do not even apply to the situation at hand.
  • Active listening: Listen to what the other party is saying WITHOUT thinking of a response.
  • Be patient and wait your turn. Do not think that if you wait, you will forget the points that you need to make. Besides, if you forget what you’re arguing about then why are you even arguing in the first place. Amateur.
  • Avoid using “you”-statements, which can seem accusatory and make the other person get defensive quick, fast, and in a hurry. Instead, use “I”-statements when describing what you have a problem with.
  • Be specific! Narrow down your argument and figure out exactly what the problem is. If there is an underlying issue, get to it instead of beating around the bush with superfluous nonsense
  • Allow some time for reflection and collectively come to a solution that satisfies the needs of both parties...
  • Physical contact is never necessary. Be mature and grown about the situation and realize that putting your hands on someone could potentially get you locked up. Who wants to spend the better part of their life with 3 hots and a cot, and nothing more? My sentiments exactly.


Don't watch me, w-w-watch my feet....