"Shade doesn't matter heart makes the lover." - Wale

Sometimes I worry that my appreciation for browner skin tones is seen as an act of charity.

Society’s view of “beauty” is so distorted. So when someone prefers something atypical it is sometimes mistaken as patronage, based on the notion that “[insert stigmatized feature here]-people need love, too”.

A rapper finally puts a model in his video that looks more like his mom and we say “oh, that’s nice of him!” A white guy dates a woman with a full-sized, Foxxy Cleopatra 'fro and we say “oh, good for him!”

Thanks, but no thanks, g.

Many traditional features of people of color carry the burden of presumed inferiority; consequently, people with those features are marked as needing reinforcement. Nah.

In my opinion, giving someone a gold star for liking full lips, big hips, dark skin, and natural hair undermines genuine adoration. #DontUndermineMeBro! I can tell you right now, my heart-racing, eyes wide, warm reaction to my girlfriend’s flawless skin color is far from an act of pity.

Besides, my aim isn’t to validate her, or anyone, on the basis of beauty. It has a greater effect when you validate people for just existing, instead of personality traits or accomplishments.

Over and out...