Question Du Jour: Gender Roles in Relationships

Jan 18, 2011


My stock might drop when I dispel this little tidbit about myself, but oddly enough, I’m not ashamed. Nor do I feel a sense of urgency to change.

I can’t cook. There, I said it.

It’s not that I haven’t tried to learn. I took "Foods 1" and "Advanced Foods" in High School. I watch shows like The Cake Boss and Man vs. Food eh’now and then. I even contemplated working as a cook at a fast food joint to gain some experience. But if you ask me how to make rice, I would quickly change the subject. It doesn’t help that my big brother is an iron chef and even my little brother can hold his own, but that’s neither here nor there.

Recently, I had a conversation about gender roles with Kelz. We shared our opinions on what we thought men and women were responsible for in relationships. In the past, it was expected of men to be the breadwinner and for women to be the homemaker.  Obviously these roles have evolved, expanded, and even reversed over time. But everyone has a different opinion on what people are responsible for in relationships, based on their gender. Kelz presented a good point to me that went something along the lines of:
"Both parties should know how and be willing to do everything. Men should be able to cook. Women should be able to do yardwork. Because what if one gets sick, the other should have the ability to pick up the slack in the relationship and provide for them both."
Of course this is in regards to long-term relationships, marriages, and all that jazz. But you get the point.

My questions to you all are, what do you think about gender roles in relationships? Are men expected to be the provider, stick to yard work, etc.? Are women expected to do all the cooking and things of that nature? Or do you have a more contemporary/alternative view on things?


Connie said...

I’m not afraid to admit I’m an old fashion girl. I would like a husband that’s not immune to cooking and cleaning. But in reality all I ask is that he is able to do the bare bones basic of housework. And he needs at least one signature meal (hotdogs does not count) that he can throw down on. In return he has to fully handle the washing of the cars, cutting the grass, etc.
It’s all about an equal balance of give and take.

feedmekicks said...

I am kinda stuck in the old fashioned ways. I also agree with Kelz though. I think both people in the relationship should know the ins & outs to both sides of the fence.

I an individual, don't you have to know those things to survive on your own anyway? I do think that the responsibilities should be shared and it shouldn't be a hassle if I ask him to throw some suds on the dishes or if he asks me to take out the trash.

josieRbaby said...

Well... I would love to be old fashion. In fact, I would love to be a stay at home mom.

BUT lets be clear....

I can not cook.
Beyond not knowing how to cook, I can't mentally/physically touch meat.
So with that being said, its sad days ahead for me & my sig other.

I'm totally fine with cooking for myself. As a veggie, I rotate the same basic meals to my own satisfaction. BUT if my sig other is a hardcore meat man, problems will clearly exist :/

Furthermore, for some very odd reason, I picture myself not only being the breadwinner of my home - but also working LONG long hours. That being said, hopefully my husband can throw down and have a plate waiting upon my arrival.



Miss C i n d i a * said...

My boyfriend and I live together and I was recently very sick. He was able to load and unload the dishes, make food, and etc. We don't have set rules, it's kind of like, if something needs to be done, just get it done, man or woman. Only thing I draw the line on is, taking the trash out lol.

Miss C i n d i a * said...

Oh! And I look 21? THANKS lol made my day :)

Dub said...

WOW, appreciate all the different POVs

I do want to add that, in regards to @FeedMeKicks comment:
"I an individual, don't you have to know those things to survive on your own anyway?"

I think there is a difference between providing for yourself and providing for yourself AND others. When I had an apt, and I was my sole responsibility, I could survive off take out and poptarts. I don't think I could take care of other people the same.

Kelz said...

wow, I found the different opinions very interesting.

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