Relationship Advice from Singles: Good, Bad, or Indifferent?

Sep 20, 2010


For those of you who watched La La's Full Court Wedding last night you are fully aware of Tyrese's advice to La La in regards to her choice to hang out with single women instead of married women.

Why are you not hanging out with married women who have been married for a long time? You can’t be in the spirit of being married, hanging out with a bunch of single people. I’m not telling you to get rid of all of your friends but they are not in the same space that you are in. _Tyrese

Twitter was up in arms over what he said. Some people agreed, while others thought his comment was in poor taste. I feel what Tyrese told La La was spot on to a certain degree and for two reasons:

1. Birds of a feather flock together. This cliche doesn't have to have a negative connotation though! Take a minute to assess your friends and it becomes obvious that you are probably surrounded by people very similar to yourself. Weed heads hang around weed heads. Musicians with other musicians. Very religious people around other religious people. Groupies with other groupies! If you ask me, the life of a single socialite and a married woman with a child are antithetical. Right? It's not to say that once a woman becomes married, she has to ditch her partna dem, but seeking advice from them on a marital relationship is a bust. Which leads to my next point...

2. Be careful who you seek advice from! Straight up, a lot of dudes feel some type of way about their girl seeking advice from her friends, the single ones in particular. That's just how it is and I can't say whether I agree or disagree with that, cause I don't want to take anything away from single women and their ability to give good guidance. Trust me, I've gotten great advice from some. I do agree with the idea that BETTER marital advice would come from someone who has been "married for a long time" as Tyrese put it. What La La gon' gain from asking Ciara, Kim Kardashian and Natalie Nunn for tips besides a divorce and custody battles?

But not only that though, I personally think relationship advice should be solicited primarily during dire circumstances because relationships are so contextual. What me and my girlfriend constitute as "cheating" may be TOTALLY different from you and yours. And when people give advice, they give it within the context of their relationship.

Single, married, or other, whoever you choose to surround yourself with is a reflection of who you are in my opinion so just be cognizant of that.


Dub said...

It can also go both ways. Single dudes can give piss poor advice, trust and believe!!! I've gotten plenty! So as to be fair, I should have definitely included that, but didn't know where to fit it in.

deonna said...

I was actually talking about this with my mom because we watched it earlier.

I definitely agree that the better advice would most likely come from those that have been in a relationship for a while. They have more wisdom from their experiences.

I also think your comment about the context of the situation makes a lot of sense. I definitely base advice I give on my relationship.

good post!

e. said...

I wrote about this today, I'm leaning towards Tyrese on this one though .

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