“Listen to your friend get another man for a minute then repeat” _Wale

Jul 27, 2010


I was searching for a good quote online that would capture how I felt on the subject that I am about to discuss, but I could not find anything. So I did what anybody would do and I made one up:

Take advice only from the wise, for the wise have experience. Take advice from just anyone, and well, #EPICFAIL!

Simple as that. Not all advice is good advice, which is why I’m very cautious in who I ask to help me out. Not only that, but the same person I go to for fashion Do’s and Don’ts isn’t the same person I go to for tips on graduate school admissions. Being selective in who I divulge information to is super important, because there are those who listen to my problems with every intent to help me out and then they are those who are just soaking up new things to go talk about with other folk.

This is just my personal observation, but I’ve noticed that women tell each other everything—especially when it comes to men and relationships. Straight up, I know women that will disclose their deepest, darkest secrets to complete strangers—and for what reason? I was talking to @miss_kelliebaby about this and she made a good point: There is absolutely nothing wrong with trusting 1 or 2 people with information, but it becomes a problem when you go and tell all of your friends your business. I couldn’t agree more. Not everyone has your best interest at heart and when you ask dummies for advice, you get dumb responses. These are my personal takes on soliciting advice from every and anyone:
  1. In terms of relationship advice, there are bitter women who could find faults in Jesus Himself so why would you ask them for advice pertaining to YOUR man? #RelationshipSuicide
  2. Also regarding relationships, they are all contextual, meaning that we each have our ideal views of what should and should not happen. For example, your friend may define "cheating" as purely emotional, while you define it as anything physical. Therefore, her advice is probably going to be within the confines of her relationship boundaries and not yours, right?
  3. A lot of y’all think that good advice comes from those who are constantly being heard, the same folks who gossip constantly and always know what is going on in everyone’s life. Just ‘cause somebody likes to talk a lot doesn’t mean that they’re actually sayin’ anything.
  4. People cannot hold water. How does the saying go? Three can keep a secret if two are dead. Yeah. So true. Telling everybody your business and expecting them to keep quiet is naive.
I’m not advocating a vow of silence. We all need to confide in other people. I'm just saying, be careful who you're telling everything to...AND STOP PUTTING YOURSELF OUT ON TWITTER! IM TIRED OF READING YOUR DEPRESSED TWEETS!


Shadé said...

Hahaha I'm guilty of telling anyone and everyone my problems. After awhile, the same people I tell my problems to would use that against me. Now I just keep quiet on certain things. EVERYBODY doesn't need to know everything going on in my personal life. =)

Great post!!!

josieRbaby said...

It's definitely a hard lesson to learn.

lalaliybean said...

i agree. i'm learning the hard way and i stopped telling my best about stuff im going thru with my dude.

-mztoots- said...

good post! everything you said is true =/ bleh im one of those girls who confides in all my girlfriends to see what each one thinks and that never turns out right =/ i should start learning frm my mistakes instead of from this post lol

Don't watch me, w-w-watch my feet....